I Support the SHIT Out of Our Troops

I think the fat SUV drivers sporting yellow ribbon magnets don't have a fucking clue what "support our troops" means. I think opposing the war in Afghanistan may, in fact, be the strongest support we could possibly give to our troops.
There are ten times more civilians killed in Afghanistan than there are enemy combatants. What the fuck is that? The major selling point on this "war" is that it is protecting us from a terrorist breeding ground. So for every terrorist killed, how many potential terrorists are created? How many pissed off family members or loved ones with a whole new attitude about Canadians are there? How many terrorists are we creating for every terrorist killed?
Instead of dumping billions of dollars into a combat mission, why not allow an Afghan government to decide the best course of action; then train them to carry it out? If a freely elected Afghan government decides that the Taliban needs to be destroyed, then divert those billions into training and equipping the Afghan security forces to do so. That way they have the strength to go out and defend their OWN VALUES, not ours.
Another thing that needs to start getting a lot more attention is the fact that a full THIRD of the Afghan economy is based on illegal cultivation of opium poppies. NATO obviously sees this as a problem, and if you're a white, crew cut, fucking dickface asshole, the obvious solution is tearing up opium crops like there's no tomorrow. This, of course, is the current strategy. A strategy with the douche knob turned down significantly would be to consider the fact that there is a huge demand for opiate based pain killers such as morphine worldwide. HUGE demand, because currently most of the world's supply is grown in high tech, highly secured farms in developed countries, which takes it out of the price range for developing countries. Why not set up the Afghan economy with a sweet deal producing cheaper pain killers for the global market. This was in the John Manley report, and it's constantly ignored, why the fuck aren't more people talking about it?
I do support our troops, I support the shit out of our troops. In fact, sometimes I support our troops so hard that I SQUIRT our troops. I support (and squirt) them because I think they should be home, or involved with training an adequate security force in Afghanistan. What I don't support is the combat mission in Afghanistan, I think it is a pig-headed pathetic fuck up that is going no where and cranking out more terrorists every day than ever existed in Afghanistan prior to our involvement.

I call shenanigans on bottled water!

Are you still drinking water from plastic bottles? I don’t blame you. Somehow, some snaky marketing genius douche bag has managed to make plain old fashioned WATER into something that is bottled in plastic, shipped all around the world, sold at shockingly high prices and yet somehow everyone is completely okay with this. I have no idea how this was carried off; but it was a clever scam and we all fell for it. There are three facets to this industry that I find particularly infuriating: the resources poured into bottling and shipping, the use of mass quantities of plastic, and the price of their finished product.
Currently the planet is undergoing a period of climate change. Debate all you like but there are some undeniable facts: we are headed for catastrophic changes and the cause is increased carbon dioxide emissions. The IPCC report (before doing any arguing regarding the “existence” of climate change, I would recommend reading this document) definitively demonstrated that we are going to be severely fucked on a global scale and the only thing we can do about it is to get our shit together and reduce the severity of how hard we get fucked. So, given the that situation, why the fuck are we pouring fossil fuels into: powering water bottling plants, manufacturing plastic bottles from fossil fuels, packaging said bottles in massive amounts of plastic, and then shipping them all around the continent? This is WATER, it comes out of the fucking tap.
I understand that somehow it’s been placed into the collective consciousness that tap water is unsafe for consumption. This is total bullshit; you’re probably exposing yourself to much worse by drinking from plastic bottles that leach carcinogens like bisphenonl-A into their contents. To check on your water safety all you have to do is go to Google, find your region’s drinking water website and then read their safety reports. Perhaps this seems a little taxing, but if someone were truly concerned for their own health, and the health of their families, 10 minutes of online research doesn’t seem like such a sacrifice, and it’s probably easier than going to the store and buying a giant fucking case of useless water bottles.
OK, so clearly bottled water is terrible for the environment, and increasingly it is becoming clear that it may pose serious health risks; but what about your average fat, white, SUV driver who doesn't give a shit about either and thinks they know better than a "hippy faggot scientist" such as myself? What does this matter to them? Well, one thing someone like this understands is economics. When you look at the price of tap water versus the price of bottled the results are staggering. The average cost of a 500mL bottle of drinking water is $1.35. The cost of 500mL of water from your tap is $0.00053. So when yo do the math, $1.35 would buy you 500mL of tap water every day for SEVEN years. Can you imagine how greatful someone in Africa would be if you sent them $1.35 for safe drinking water instead? So where exactly is the incentive for buying bottled water? Why do we keep going to the grocery store and picking up case after plastic case like the one pictured above?